Monday, August 31, 2015

Today

After last week's milestone events and Michael's return to college, it's both welcome and kind of hard to accept the start of another week. Just another Manic Monday. 

As I was thinking about the meaning of those days, God whispered this to my soul:


You will not pass this way again.


Huh? I know I'm not going to have a 25th anniversary again and my son won't be 21 next year. But today is Monday and how in the world does this day compete with all of that? 

I don't feel any further along in my quest to figure out what's next for me. As I return to the mundane tasks of laundry and walking the dog, it’s hard to grasp that today matters as much as those do, that it is unlike any other day--so much of what I experience feels like wash, rinse, repeat, just like the numbers on the calendar repeat and the seasons cycle--all of it numbing me to the reality that this life is not all there is.


I believe that what happens today is somehow preparation for the life beyond this here and now.

If not, what’s the point?


Declaring this day to be the same as any other limits its potential to impact me--tomorrow isn’t promised and each day has its own set of challenges. I think that's why the psalmist reminded himself that “this is the day that the Lord has made; rejoice and be glad in it!”

Frederick Buechner said this in The Sacred Journey: "It seemed to me then, and seems to me still, that if God speaks to us at all in this world, if God speaks anywhere, it is into our personal lives that he speaks...We sleep and dream. We wake. We work. We remember and forget. We have fun and are depressed. And into the thick of it, or out of the thick of it, at moments of even the most humdrum of our days, God speaks."

I want to hear God speak, and I wish there was some foolproof method I could adopt that would guarantee I would see everything God wants me to see throughout this day, that I could really realize the truth in the whispering: You will not pass this way again

Instead, I'm distracted by culture, absorbed in my past and present experiences, and limited by the fact that my brain can only comprehend so much. And I can't begin to tell you how to go about seeing what God has for you, because what happens to me today isn't going to be the same as what happens to you because God relates to me completely differently than He does with you!

All I know in this moment is that I want to learn how to remember God as not just the Author of this day but my Guide and Companion through it. Every day He makes Himself known, and I will not pass this way again. I'm going to try not to blink.

2 comments:

  1. I've wrestled with this so at times. Especially now, when lifting my head off the pillow of the bed can take everything I have. What then? I, too, in my limited human brain, wonder how I will participate in His will for me when I am sick. So I asked Mother Madonna, what she thought those days were about? And I love that the answer came so quickly, and assuredly from her... Well God probably wants you to rest! So simple, and yet so profound. Took me right back to our Gitzen Girl and how she lived such a BIG life, with such limited abilities. Maybe, today, God is in the mundane, for you.

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    1. i thought of Gitz when i read your post from Friday! i think it's not so much about me and what i can do but about recognizing where God is active--where is He NOT? He's everywhere!--and seeking to participate. you're making a big impact for Him, Vicky.

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