|August 27, 1994|
I feel as though I’ve been preparing for this moment since the day I first laid eyes on you. I thought I was ready, but the future is now and yesterday you turned 21. I’m not prepared.
I was not the mom who cried when you took your first steps. I was tired of carrying you!
I was not the mom who cried when you went to kindergarten. I was ready for some free time.
I was not the mom who tried to be your friend. I had enough friends of my own.
I was not the mom who cried when I left you at college. I knew you were where you were supposed to be. (Just so you don't think I'm heartless, I did cry when we pulled in the driveway at home, 600 miles later.)
I was not the mom who wanted you to stay little forever. I was always ready for the next season of life with you.
But this next season isn’t really a season, is it? You're an adult now, and things have to be different. Still, it’s awkward.
|With Carly and Shadow, April 2002|
When you come home for a visit, I want to do things for you, although you’re perfectly capable of washing your own clothes and making your own lunch.
When we talk, I want to advise you, but you don’t need another teacher. I feel old, out of touch, and generally uninteresting.
When I ask you if you’d like to go with me somewhere, I prepare myself for the answer to be “no.” I’ve been pleasantly surprised with how many times you’ve said “yes” this month. Thanks. I wonder, though, if you’ll choose to spend time with me once your own life begins in earnest.
When I try to relate to you as an adult, I find myself reverting to my role as mom. Although I’ll always be that, I want us to be friends. This might take a while, though.
|Lego Millennium Falcon, Aug. 27, 2004|
So, for now, I want you to know that--
I am the mom who wants you to share your thoughts. I’m interested in what interests you.
I am the mom who wants you to succeed. I hope you find a job that’s fulfilling.
I am the mom who wants you to find community. Friends are the family you choose. Since you don’t have any siblings, you’ll need some good people who know you, warts and all, and choose to love you. Don’t be afraid of that messiness.
|Senior picture, Aug. 2013|
I am the mom who will always love you--no matter what. The door will always be open.